As I was talking to a good friend via IM yesterday and today [no offence if you are reading this, this has nothing to do with you personally] I’ve found myself become less and less interested in the conversation and my mind just somewhat drifted off to the point where I ended up feeling rather mechanical in the replies. Yes, I care about how that friend is doing and how their relationship is going, but somehow I don’t at the same time and I feel rather bad at even thinking that.
I have nothing but respect for the few true, close friends, but at the same time don’t feel like I want to converse with them much. Sure, wanting to know how they’re doing and if everything’s ok, but so many of our convos have become so samey that I can predict how it’s going to be before it’s finished. This is already evident that all our convos always start the same:
Hi, how are you?
I’m fine, how are you?
Sure you don’t tell strangers how bad you might be feeling, but it should be different with close friends.
I’m not even sure when it all went wrong if it even has gone wrong. Some of my friends I’ve not seen in a year because they’ve either moved away or I’ve moved away and as much as I’m trying to stay in contact [which by the way is so freaking difficult and has been since school!] it’s just not really the same. Experiences that caused us to be friends in the first place are still there, but no new ones are added and more and more we’re just becoming acquaintances.
Of course then there’s the case recently which can be best explained with some Twitter updates from that time:
I’ve been tempted to send someone an email, but I’m torn. Should I do it or should I not do it?
Email sent. *phew*
@PCurd You may ask, but it’s rather boring, related to a close friend I’m attempting to get back in contact with after an argument in August
Just got a reply to that email I sent yesterday.
Looks like I’m going to Hamburg Monday/Tuesday.
Tomorrow at this time I’ll be on my way to Hamburg for a night of drinking and partying like it’s 1999! Reminds me, still need to find pubs.
Planning the train journey and reading up about Hamburg. Much more excited than I’d like to admit, haha.
@FallingBullets Going to Hamburg to meet my friend tomorrow night. He’s flying in, I’m taking the train there and we’ll probs get drunk lol
Time to leave for Hamburg. Yey!
Hamburg’s hella cold,currently waiting at airport for my friend. One of these days I oughta total my time spent at airports!
Cat has the feeling she’s been stood up..
Just been told by Lufthansa he wasn’t on the plane. So 4h journey here, 2.5h waiting, 4h return journey now for nothing. Fucking brilliant.
It does make me wonder though on the example of my grandmother who has been friends with people since she was my age and talks about them a lot, but none of them use their given names with each other and just call each other Mrs so and so. And they never talk about real private stuff either.
Is that what it will be like in the future for me too? Or am I just having a bad day?