I wrote a blog post in November last year which summed up a few reasons on how my usage of online media has changed over the years due to necessity rather than by my own wishes [which was also linked to with a great post!]. It received several comments which I didn’t reply to at the time as I didn’t want to basically repeat my post and wanted to see if I could get any more inspiration from the comments.
Here are some of the comments and thanks to all the commenters!
From @Pewari:
It’s a tough dilemma, and it is THE main reason why I no longer blog. The problem is, how do I then maintain my online friendships? The most important ones I keep in contact with via IM and Twitter, but certainly the level of communication is much less.
That is one of the main problems I’ve got as well. I’m missing the interaction and the useful tips, especially when it is something personal and I could get a second opinion that way.
From @sarahfenn:
I know totally what you mean about Twitter. My neighbours have a young baby that cries constantly. I can’t complain on Twitter because my tweets auto populate my Facebook status. My neighbours don’t follow me on Facebook but friends of theirs do. Complicated, but I have remember to self censor.
Perhaps that’d be a good Twitter tag-line, ‘remember to self-censor’ ;)
I really want to say don’t worry to much though. We’re all human. There are things we’ll say that people will love and things people won’t like at all. You are you and you’re loved BECAUSE of the way you are. Don’t hide it too much. Don’t be ashamed of things you thought/said in the past. Don’t drive yourself crazy trying to self-censor. Be yourself. There’s a reason you make new friends from your tweets and blog posts :)
I like that, thanks!
From Jennifer:
The real-time, location-based stuff gives me the creeps. I wish there was a way to set a time delay before it goes “live” somewhere.
I’m very conscious of all the times I publically mention my location. Tweeting about where I am going for coffee is fine provided I’m with a group and I’ve only got close friends on services like Foursquare which also hides my location from others.
From EllaElla:
Excellent post and some real concerns and consequences. I’ve gone so far as to create free email accounts to give to people I know in real life who don’t know about my blog and I don’t want them to know.
I’ve been thinking about doing that for a good couple of years now for the same reasons and I do have various different email accounts. However at the same time I’d like to be found by some people I may have lost touch with over the years.
From sulz:
someone i know who uses her blog as a place to vent said if you don’t like what i have to say here then don’t read it. to a point it does make sense… celebrities are in the tabloids all the time and reading some interviews it seems that after a while they train themselves not to read the papers anymore.
but we’re not celebrities and though we have a right to express ourselves, is it fair to hurt the people we write about? i guess blogging is like journalism to a small extent – you have to be responsible for what you write for and back it up with facts in order to have a clear conscience!
otherwise, one can always master the art of vague remarks that doesn’t reveal too much. then again, it doesn’t make you feel like you vented properly too!
Just the other day several people reacted apruptly to one of my posts on my tumblr. People I only know via the internet. My first thought was that it doesn’t matter to me and they should just stop reading it as it’s a scrapbook/place for me and not anyone else. At the same time I realised I had over 500 followers on there and really didn’t care about it.
I wish I could adapt that mentality to my real life friends as well, but most of them don’t use the internet much or don’t share anything and see this only as an affront to them which obviously it’s never intended to be. I would never post anything that could possibly identify them either.
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One of the reasons behind the original post was to gather ideas on how other people manage to balance their internet versus their real life activities and based on feedback I’ve read here and on other places I’ve posted excerpts at, it doesn’t seem there’s much solution apart from just avoiding sharing things on the internet alltogether.
Surely there has to be a better solution out there?
2 Comments
there is – start a blog where you can vent but keep it private. kinda like that exercise where you write a letter to someone you’re angry at or hurt by before tearing and throwing the letter away.
personally speaking that doesn’t give me the satisfaction of venting. i’ve been in trouble a few times for saying things that hurt people i know when i was blogging. if i still care about them, then i gave a heartfelt apology. if i didn’t, i tried to provoke them even further for coming into my space.
if i were still blogging, i would maintain that it’s important that i’m able to express myself even if it means making some enemies in the process. however, i’ve learnt that this responsibility comes with a price i sometimes wish i didn’t have to pay. i think i might have lost some good friendships by standing up for my own views. is it worth it? sometimes. but perhaps a true friend would not keep a grudge for one’s right to self-expression even if s/he doesn’t agree to one’s views.
Agreed, a private blog is good for when you just need to write things down, but one of the reasons is getting feedback from people and if I start allowing some access there’s no telling on how long it’ll remain private.
I think that nails it pretty much.