I think the difficulty is that the way I read feeds is a bit different to most – I read on three different devices which is the mobile web on my phone, the app on my Nexus10 and within the browser which can be Chrome or something else. My phone, due to an issue, can’t be upgraded beyond 2.1 so most Droid apps aren’t available. Plus most apps wouldn’t let me have the small font I like and it’s mostly taken up by white space or other fancy stuff. I would say I use each of the three methods equally.

Additionally I don’t care about trends in feeds. I have my subscriptions because I like to read them or at least want to know if there’s new content and couldn’t care less if a hundred people or people in my circles have recommended something. That’s what Twitter and Facebook are for. I also have my now 321 subscriptions in folders and have over 2000 unread feeds per day which sort of get read in an order with some folders generally marked as read or just glanced at.

All of the above makes finding a replacement more difficult thank it should be. The Feedly app comes highly recommended, but doesn’t have a mobile site and doesn’t work on my phone. The Old Reader is slow. Nevibes is confusing.

I hate change.

For what it’s worth – my immediate reply was: ‘I’d stop drinking’ as I took another sip from the wine glass in my hand.

These are the responses I got:

• I’d make sure the cats understood the need to check left and right before crossing the street!
• I’d stop drinking.
• Change the shit your smoking.
• Sell tickets.
• Go for a brain scan.
• Reply, of course.
• Get an agent.
• Depends what it said.
• I always wonder what if the Hindus are right about reincarnation and my dog is a 60 year old guy watching me shower.

Not that I’d need an excuse really, I love the idea regardless!

(FYI, my birthday is May 15th and it’s now on my Amazon wishlist!)

After looking at your profile picture I had no other choice but to send a compliment. You are such a pretty woman..i liked your profile so much and i am interested in knowing you better..

Looked at my ‘other’ messages on Facebook for the first time in, well, probably ever and found the above message from a man living in the US. His profile is pretty much locked down so I don’t know if we have any mutual friends, but likewise my profile is pretty much locked down.

I’m currently watching the Catfish TV show so this feels very apt.

I also didn’t reply..

In the meantime I’ve been recommended these links and will need to check them out soon:

• Lifehacker
• Mashable
• Cnet
• Reddit

Hopefully I’ll be able to find a home for my 316 subscriptions.

• Inbox: 3936 conversations
• All mail: 58113 conversations
• Sent mail: 5290 conversations
• Saved drafts: 185 conversations
• Chat history: 4740 conversations
• Spam: 234 conversations

I have had my gmail account since 2005. I receive around 100-150 spam emails a day. My saved drafts is sort of my ‘to read or action later’ folder only I don’t really follow that up much and it’s gotten a bit out of hand. I’m pretty sure there are some actually important and time-specific things in there.

I guess I chat a lot, too.

The week following I continued to go to work, but also had two days off to look after my friend’s children during half term. On the Tuesday, just five days after the symptoms first started, I lost my voice and it hasn’t returned so far – two weeks later. It makes this even more isolating than any other illness.

I am unable to leave the house or even the bed/sofa without feeling even worse or starting a long coughing attack. I can’t talk as it leads to coughing, even if I’m whispering. I have chest pain, issues breathing, general pain everywhere that doesn’t go away with any painkillers and a lot of other symptoms.

I was happy last week when I finally made it and got it diagnosed thinking that with antibiotics it would actually be over soon, but now, a week later, there has been no change asides from no longer having a stuffy nose which was never an urgent problem with all the rest going on. I struggle with the basic day to day stuff – going to the ridiculously close local cornershops is a mission and turned into a nightmare last week when I had a coughing fit so bad I fell over inside the shop and then had some lovely students just step over me. Not one of my happiest moments.

Of course I don’t have any housemates that would help me as seemingly all the nice ones moved out last year. Yes, I knew I didn’t really get along with the ones I’ve got or gained recently, but I am quite obviously very ill and not only do they not help, even when asked directly, but also all the inconsiderate actions they usually do now feel like a direct affront to me. One of them has now stopped talking to me entirely for reasons beyond me, and constantly food, washing powder or anything else not attached goes missing which is really helpful when I’m too ill to actually be able to leave the house to get more.

Additionally being ill is expensive – as I have no mode of transport I have had to rely on taxis plus of course pay for prescriptions and all the other ibuprofen and so on. So far I have spent around £180 just on being ill which excludes any food. I have also not been at work for seven working days (and counting) and won’t get paid for those though I will need to work out how to get SSP which is less than £90 a week. Yes, I know, I should be happy I live in a country with medical care and so on and so forth, but clearly I am not feeling very positive right now.

I was given new antibiotics today and I am worried about taking them as the common side effects actually scare me. I know they have to list every side effect ever uttered in the same room as someone who has taken the pills before, but the talk of fatal liver failure, panic attacks, change of sense of taste and so on isn’t appealing. Whilst more than 1 out of 100 people is still random and unlikely I am worried what would happen if I was one of those that got something that will cause long-term problems. Seeing how well I am coping with this and how well I am coping with being ill now the thought of any long-term problems actually terrifies me. Everyone I have asked about this has called me unreasonable, but whatever, clearly this has frustrated me enough to make me unreasonable.

I am getting more and more frustrated with the entire situation. I hate I can’t be at work when it was just coming up to some exciting projects for me. I hate that I am letting two friends down with some work I promised them. I hate the treatment of housemates and this whole living situation. I hate that I am so ill and not getting any better. I hate waking up each time having problems breathing. I hate that I haven’t actually had a conversation with anyone in over a week who wasn’t a medical person. I hate every single doctor’s appointment or pharmacy trip. I hate that a couple of close friends haven’t visited me despite me asking because I actually needed company. I hate that I am too ill to even hold/concentrate on my phone or tablet so I can’t even talk properly to friends further away (this post has taken hours with all the breaks). I hate this isolation.

I hate the fact that I am really restless and in more pain than usual tonight.

I need a hug.

On Saturday I took the plunge and ordered a Nexus 10. It arrived yesterday.

This post is written on it.

So exciting!

Setting up a new payee involves entering all the details and the amount. The screen then transfers to another screen with a four-digit number and calls the mobile associated with the bank account. Following that I need to enter the number and hang up after with it will be confirmed. So far so good.

A few minutes later I will receive a text to that same mobile:

Confirmation: You set up a new recipient on XX/XX at XX:XX:XX from account ending XXXX. If this wasn’t you please call 08453000000 or +441733347007 from abroad.

In order to set up the payee I need my phone – I cannot do it another way. If it wasn’t me then surely texting that same number isn’t going to change anything as my phone will not be by me?

• A chance encounter with a former colleague which goes to show just how small this world is.
• A rushed day at work, as so many have been recently.
• A bank error putting me -£844 over my overdraft and I have no idea how to get to work in a few hours as I now can’t take money out..
• Finding the perfect house to move to, but knowing it wouldn’t work out.
• Spending the evening at my friend’s house where I’ve spent over half of my time in the past two weeks.
• Persistent earache that’s been plaguing me for over a week.
• Worrying about potentially having to make a big decision soon and already dreading it.

Wednesday will have to be better!

Edit: This was post 800!

On Friday snow hit the UK with more snow than even in 2010 so we did the only natural thing and built a snowman at work. As you do.

Following that I had the first free weekend in two weekends which doesn’t sound so grand, but considering the hours I’d been working plus spending most of the time on the weekends out of the house I really needed the break. I didn’t switch on my laptop from Friday evening until now, Monday evening and spent most of my time reading and falling asleep on the sofa.

Just as well as it was far too slippery and icy outside as evident by me falling over on my brief trip to the local shops on Saturday evening.

I need more relaxing time like this!

• Recently moved
• Away from family
• Away from hometown
• Interests -> Charity/Causes
• Engaged or married [with various timeframes!]
• Baby boomers
• Parents [with various options for the children's ages]

I have limited information on my Facebook profile. For example I don’t have my hometown listed, never listed my relationship status and my profile is barely filled out. The pages I like are varied and don’t contain any that would assume I have children. I update my status about 1-3 times a month with things about me or what I have done.

For all those reasons I find it odd that lately I have been served an increasing amount of pregnancy, baby and toddler related ads with some specific ones related to childcare or weddings. I know this is just to do with the bad targeting, but sometimes it makes me wonder just what Facebook is telling me.

The following is just a very small selection:

I used to live a quite nomadic lifestyle – moving from house to house and even country at one point, as well as moving from online community to online community or switching my hobbies around a lot.

I have lived in my current house for 21 months now which is the longest I have lived anywhere since making the decision to move back to the UK in 2003.

I don’t really have the time nor energy for online communities any more. I am still just as active on Twitter as I have ever been, but asides from that I barely visit any forums or anything else any more.

My hobbies are much more tailored around my lifestyle – in weeks that I am more social I can be found knitting more than on weeks I spend at home which is time put aside for knitting. Gaming is still a major loss, but eventually I will have the time to get back into it.

Overall though it’s to do with an attitude change. I feel more settled and happier with where I am in life, even if it doesn’t even seem it to me most of the time.

So I suppose I am no longer the nomadic cat and this can’t be tales of the nomadic cat any more.

I can’t actually remember the last time I played either pool or went bowling. Bowling was at least before 2003, but I do believe pool was more recent, perhaps six years? As such I didn’t do very well – lost all the games of pool, much to the chagrin of my team mate who is also one of my current housemates. Whilst I won the first game of bowling – with what I’m told is a very respectable 120 points – I lost all subsequent ones with scores below 60 which the competitive me didn’t actually mind.

Most of all it was an usual activity and fun. Well, fun for the most of it.

Despite always needing to convince myself to make the effort to go, I generally enjoy social situations even if they’re larger groups. On Thursday I knew most of the people as they are close friends of my friend’s whose birthday it was, but never spoke much to them before with the exception of awkward smalltalk. That night was no different and I found myself far too often standing with people not knowing what to say or saying too much too fill uncomfortable silences. That part wasn’t fun.

“Workplace disgruntlement in the private sector will instead take the form of simmering distrust of bosses, especially those who adopt the trendy management speak mantra of ‘employee engagement’ while piling the pressure on overstretched staff,” he said.

I like my job. I like the company. I like the colleagues. I enjoy the actual work. After ten months I still don’t hate going to work or getting up in the morning though flexible working hours definitely help as I sometimes go in rather late.

However, in the last months my team and particularly me have taken on a lot of new responsibility which has taken a lot of my time and most of November and December I felt pretty stressed most of the time. The only reason we have taken on these new responsibilities is because the people that were in charge before left and weren’t replaced.

Every day is a new challenge and I haven’t found myself bored in the job yet. Could I do with less work? Of course. Would I trade it for less variety? I don’t think so.

Today I learned that there is such a thing as three player chess.

Having not played standard chess for years and playing with two people who also hadn’t it took us all a lot longer than probably an advanced player to understand the rules and the complex moves with crossing the board. Quite often we had to reverse a move when we realised that a player would have put themselves in check as there was a queen somewhere across the board.

I am happy to say I didn’t lose, but at the same time also didn’t win. Initially me and my friend subconsciously both attacked our other friend which I ultimately beat before then turning on each other. My final loss was due to stupidity and a complete accident.

I would love to play it again at some point.

Creative, resourceful and intellectually quick. Good at a broad range of things. Enjoy debating issues and may be into “one-upmanship”. They get very excited about new ideas and projects, but may neglect the more routine aspects of life. Generally outspoken and assertive. They enjoy people and are stimulating company. Excellent ability to understand concepts and apply logic to find solutions.

Careers that could fit you include:
Entrepreneurs, lawyers, psychologists, photographers, consultants, sales represenatives, actors, engineers, scientists, inventors, marketers, computer programmers, comedians, computer analysts, credit investigators, journalists, psychiatrists, public relations, designers, writers, artists, musicians, politicians.

Link to test.

Came across this test through @jamileh.

It’s surprising how apt some of this is. I would consider myself to be resourceful and I am definitely into one-upmanship, even though I’d probably not admit that outright if challenged! Whether or not I am assertive is another thing – it led to my downfall in a previous job role.

Talking about jobs, all but two of my jobs have been one of the ones listed in that list and my life in the past seven years has been very much geared towards marketing and public relations.

I also like to think myself as being creative though I know I pale in comparison to many of my friends.

All in all it’s pretty accurate!

2012 was a curious year for me with a lot happening.

After glorious #funemployment lasting six months I got a new job that I am still enjoying ten months later. Whilst it is the best job I have had my whole life, which is in a large part due to the relaxed working hours, I have found myself struggling with a meaningful work-life balance and, additionally, have had private matters affect me at work which isn’t great. All in all I am still mostly looking forward to going to work though.

I went on several trips:

• Hameln in January to visit my grandma for five days.
• Venice in January with my best friend for three days.
• Couple of trips to London.
• Pisa in September for a few days.
• Nottingham to see a friend.

I played a very small number of games, didn’t do much knitting, but I did read 61 books, went to see a bunch of classical concerts in Reading and London, as well as two weddings. Most of the pictures I was tagged in on Facebook involve me holding some form of alcoholic beverage, mostly wine.

I’ve had my first birthday party since 1993 and loved it.

I attempted a half marathon walk and failed miserably.

I took on too much charitable work and have [hopefully] now learned how to cut down whilst at the same time planning to increase my work with Cancer Research UK.

I was ill far too much, including my knee leftover from last year, my wrist which was also a leftover from last year and various other things, including a bad flu all over Christmas and the new year with heavy fever. I have also discovered that I am lactose intolerant which is a bit of a bitch as I love yoghurt and all things dairy.

I have become more grounded in who I am. More settled in life and with my roots [that sounds pretentious..] and ever more accepting of the burglary. I am even planning a visit to my hometown in Germany in 2013 which will be the first time in my life that I will visit it out of my own devices, rather than a familiar or other obligation. This is a big step for me.

2013 has started with a whimper and being ill. I hope it will be the best year yet.

• Hints on etiquette and the usages of society with a glance at bad habits
• The Sleepless Nanny by Christa Charter [@trixie360]
• The English German Girl by Jack Wallis Simons
• Memories of the Future – Volume 1 by Wil Wheaton [@wilw]
• Agatha Raisin and the Quiche of Death by M. C. Beaton
• Agatha Raisin and the Vicious Vet by M. C. Beaton
• Agatha Raisin and the Potted Gardener by M. C. Beaton
• Agatha Raisin and the Walkers of Dembley by M. C. Beaton
• Agatha Raisin and the Murderous Marriage by M. C. Beaton
• Agatha Raisin and the Terrible Tourist by M. C. Beaton
• Agatha Raisin and the Wellspring of Death by M. C. Beaton
• Agatha Raisin and the Wizard of Evesham by M. C. Beaton
• Agatha Raisin and the Witch of Wyckhadden by M. C. Beaton
• Agatha Raisin and the Fairies of Fryfam by M. C. Beaton
• Agatha Raisin and the Love from Hell by M. C. Beaton
• Agatha Raisin and the Day the Floods Came by M. C. Beaton
• Agatha Raisin and the Case of the Curious Curate by M. C. Beaton
• Agatha Raisin and the Haunted House by M. C. Beaton
• Agatha Raisin and the Deadly Dance by M. C. Beaton
• Death at La Fenice by Donna Leon
• Death in a Strange Country by Donna Leon
• The Anonymous Venetian by Donna Leon
• A Venetian Reckoning by Donna Leon
• Acqua Alta by Donna Leon
• The Death of Faith by Donna Leon
• A Noble Radiance by Donna Leon
• Fatal Remedies by Donna Leon
• Friends in High Places by Donna Leon
• Locked In (Jessica Daniel Book 1) by Kerry Wilkinson
• Vigilante (Jessica Daniel Book 2) by Kerry Wilkinson
• The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien.
• Assault with a Deadly Glue Gun by Lois Winston
• Sober Is My New Drunk by Paul Carr
• Heat Wave by Richard Castle
• Naked Heat by Richard Castle
• Heat Rises by Richard Castle
• Frozen Heat by Richard Castle
• A Brewing Storm by Richard Castle
• A Raging Storm by Richard Castle
• A Bloody Storm by Richard Castle
• Christopher Columbus and the Knights Templar by Jon La Plante
• Travel And The Single Girl by Jenny Stallard
• Redshirts by John Scalzi
• Shopaholic and Baby by Sophie Kinsella
• The Name of this Book is Secret (Secret Series) by Pseudonymous Bosch
• Rook by Daniel O’Malley
• Spying in High Heels by Gemma Halliday
• Killer in High Heels by Gemma Halliday
• Undercover in High Heels by Gemma Halliday
• Christmas in High Heels (short story) by Gemma Halliday
• Alibi in High Heels by Gemma Halliday
• Mayhem in High Heels by Gemma Halliday
• Honeymoon in High Heels (novella) by Gemma Halliday
• Sweetheart in High Heels (short story) by Gemma Halliday
• Fearless in High Heels by Gemma Halliday
• Sanctus by Simon Toyne
• The Other Side of Midnight by Sidney Sheldon
• Fear of Landing: You Fly Like a Woman by Sylvia Spruck Wrigley
• Schooled (Lexy Cooper Videogame Mystery) by Christa Charter
• Devilish by Maureen Johnson
• Thrill! by Jackie Collins

There are another five books that I keep on reading every now and then, such as the History of Britain and QI facts. I also have another ten books in progress.

I’m not going to lie – I am incredibly excited about it and have literally been waiting for years for this, especially as most third-party services were only able to pull a few thousand tweets which, for someone with currently 68697 tweets, just wasn’t enough.

I must resist the temptation of reading more at work, but I am already excited at having rediscovered my very first tweet. Sent on the 27th of August 2007 at  14:03:21:

is tidying up.

Shame it wasn’t ‘Hello World’..

In the meantime all the recorded series’ links have continued recording and I only have 13% left of what I believe is a 1TB hard drive. Most of them also have more than one episode recorded which I’ve indicated below and all of those are unwatched asides from Castle which I’m rewatching. Again.

The only shows that I have been watching within a day or so of their screening are Homeland, Buffy [for the umpteenth time], Arrow and Elementary, though this week I’m behind on two of those, too.

This is what I have to catch up on [in order of recording]:

• Death in Venice – A musical journey with Louis Lortie – Sky Arts 2
• Shakespeare’s Globe – Sky Arts 2
• Peter Ackroyd’s Venice [4 episodes] – Sky Arts 2
• Andre Rieu – I lost my heart in Heidelberg – Sky Arts 2
• Fidelio – Sky Arts 2
• Salzburg Festival Opening Concert 2009 – Sky Arts 2
• Passion – Last Stop Kinshasa – Sky Arts 2
• Sideways – Sky Atlantic
• The Comic Strip Presents [3 episodes] – Gold
• Romeo and Juliet – Sky Arts 2
• Under Siege 2 – Dark Territory – E4
• Elisabeth – The Golden Age – ITV3
• Valkyrie – C5
• Everyday – C4
• Falcon [3 episodes] – Sky Atlantic
• Rebecca [2 episodes] – ITV3
• Columbo [5 episodes] – ITV
• UNforgiven [3 episodes] – ITV3
• Hairy Dieters – How to love food and lose weight – BBC1
• Robbie Williams Live – Take the Crown – Sky1
• QI – Dave
• The dark charisma of Adolf Hitler [3 episodes] – BBC2
• Secret State [4 episodes] – C4
• Flashpoint [8 episodes] – Universal
• Midsomer Murders – ITV3
• Law & Order SVU – Universal
• National Trust – National Treasures – Sky Arts 2
• Arrow – Sky1
• Stephen Fry Gadget Man [2 episodes] – C4
• Burn Notice [13 episodes] – FX
• Last Resort [3 episodes] – Sky1
• Last Tango in Halifax [3 episodes] – BBC1
• Elementary – Sky Living
• Young Apprentice – BBC1
• Eureka [15 episodes] – Syfy
• Scandal [4 episodes] – More4
• The Fear [4 episodes] – C4
• Hawaii Five-0 [8 episodes] – Sky1
• JAG [11 episodes] – CBS Drama
• Warehouse 13 [12 episodes] – Syfy
• Star Trek TNG [13 episodes] – Syfy
• Castle [4 episodes] – alibi
• Merlin – BBC1

I don’t know what to start with!

I would approach it rather sneakily – remembering the exact position of the remote control on the living room table, making a mental note of the TV channel that was last on when the TV was switched off, as well as listening closely to any noise outside the flat that could indicate an early return!

I would watch the Gummy Bears, She-Ra, Inspector Gadget, The Racoons and many other cartoon shows though I’ve probably watched more of that as an adult.

One of the shows that my mum used to watch and would happily let me watch at the same time was I Dream of Jeannie or the German name of it – Enchanting Jeannie. I wanted to be Jeannie and remember running round the flat trying to do magic whilst at the same time – even as a six year old – thinking that it looked stupid. I wanted to live in her bottle and was intrigued that it was only a sofa though always thought just how impractical that is.

It’s the show that was made by Larry Hagman. RIP.

Taken from the episode ‘A story to die for’, Jessica Fletcher is unaware that she suspected of murder and approached by two FBI agents:

Knock on the door, Jessica opens.

Jessica: Agents! What a pleasant surprise! What can I do for you?
Agent 1: The night Ivan was murdered, you spoke with him, correct?
Jessica: We had words, yes.
Agent 2: What kind of words?
Jessica: Oh, the usual. Nouns! Verbs! Adjectives! To round things out!

However, on a positive note, this is the start of my NaNoWriMo 2012 novel:

They were delicious. She felt like it was heaven in her mouth. Never before had she taste anything like it before.

It was the last thought she was ever to have.

First things first: I had a phenomenal number of donations totaling £313 [including gift aid] from these lovely people:

• Amykate
• Chelthan & Swedish Mike
• cyclerunner
• Darren
• itsajo
• JD and His Lupine Associates
• Joe
• Jonez
• Katie
• krider2010
• Magda
• Mark Cockshoot
• Maxine
• Michaela
• Peter Cooper
• Rob
• sahfenn
• SockYarnShop
• Wei Joo
• Zarrar

They are all incredibly awesome and I can’t believe how much faith they put in me. And then I hurt my knee.

The following months were painful. They involved a lot of hobbling and, whilst it initially seemed like I could do Shine, my doctor ultimately convinced me it was a bad idea, especially as I’d not been training for it. I felt guilty for letting everyone down. Yes, I realise it’s for charity and therefore a Good Thing™, but people donated money for something I was planning to do, something that was going to take me out of my comfort zone and then I didn’t deliver.

I did what I do best – withdraw. Didn’t mention Shine at all, as, obviously, not mentioning something makes it go away. Only it didn’t and it kept nagging at me, even though my knee still hurt at the beginning of 2012 – more than four months after the initial injury.

Once my knee was healed I decided to try again only this time I would not publicise it and instead do it for everyone that has donated to me already. Basically I wanted to be true to my word. I finally signed up for it in June and had all the intentions of training for it. I planned walks that didn’t happen due to the weather or due to other commitments, such as work, and then it was time for Shine 2012 and I had done precisely no training.

On Saturday evening I ventured to London, got there fashionably late, and completed 6.6 miles out of the 13.1 miles before giving up for various reasons, as I tweeted at the time. The reasons were:

• I couldn’t do it. 13.1 miles with no training and no walking in my daily life asides from walking very short journeys from the bus stop wasn’t doable.
• It was cold. Really cold.
• Trains weren’t in my favour. With the walk starting at 7.30pm – though I didn’t actually cross the start line until gone 8pm – and being the world’s slowest walker, I knew it wasn’t feasible for me to finish in time to catch the last train across London at 1am and the next one wasn’t until 7.30am. Plus it was cold.
• Walking through London wasn’t great.
• My backpack was too heavy; I really didn’t need that 1.5l bottle of water with stops around the course.
• The organisation wasn’t great. I’ve volunteered at many Race for Life events and it was good to see it from the other side. I have a lot of ideas on how to improve future events I’ll be volunteering at.

So I still haven’t lived up to my word and in essence have still let everyone down. I won’t be attempting Shine 2013 as the journey is too far and it costs me too much money – taking part this year has set me back £65 for entry and travel – and it’s too inconvenient to go to London and back.

I will, however, be attempting to do a 13.1 miles stretch at some point. Probably not in the next few months, but perhaps in spring.

Thank you to everyone for putting so much faith in me. I struggled a lot on Saturday and could barely walk on Sunday, but, with some training, I am sure I can achieve it. Thank you for all your amazing donations.

• Fifty Shades Freed by E L James
• Reflected in You: A Crossfire Novel by Sylvia Day
• Fifty Shades Darker by E L James
• Fifty Shades of Grey by E L James
• Bared to You: A Crossfire Novel by Sylvia Day
• Fifty Shades Trilogy: Fifty Shades of Grey / Fifty Shades Darker / Fifty Shades Freed by E L James
• Entwined with You: A Crossfire Novel (Crossfire Book 3) by Sylvia Day
• For His Pleasure (For His Pleasure, Book 1) (The Submission of Miss Masters, Domination, BDSM) by Kelly Favor
• Gabriel’s Inferno by Sylvain Reynard
• Beautiful Disaster by Jamie McGuire
• His Every Touch (For His Pleasure, Book 8) by Kelly Favor
• His Every Desire (For His Pleasure, Book 7) by Kelly Favor
• Confessions: A Secret Diary by Amber Stephens
• The Adultery Club: In an often grey world there are fifty shades of seduction: 1 by Tess Stimson
• Gabriel’s Rapture by Sylvain Reynard
• For His Taking (For His Pleasure, Book 2) (The Submission of Miss Masters, Domination, BDSM) by Kelly Favor
• The Diary of a Submissive: A True Story by Sophie Morgan
• In Too Deep by Portia Da Costa
• Fire After Dark by Sadie Matthews
• For His Forever (For His Pleasure, Book 6) by Kelly Favor
• For His Keeping (For His Pleasure, Book 3) by Kelly Favor

No comment.

Actually I do have a comment – I wonder if Kelly Favor is bothered that book 4 and 5 aren’t in the top 100. Do people just read them out of order?

Went to see Brave today which actually turned out to be a good film. It was quite predictable, but had some lovely touches, even though the brothers of the princess were rather scary, especially in their other form.

It also brought back the urge to play Fable and especially Skyrim again.

Mostly though it made me think of my hair. My hair is currently the longest it has ever been and it’s great that I can now do things with it, such as braiding or putting it into a bun with a hair bun thing, but overall I feel like I’m still in a transition. It annoys me as it’s too long and at the same time it’s not long enough to do anything properly with it.

I’ve got to resist the urge to cut it off though. Persevere, Cat, persevere!

Image courtesy of The Rotoscoopers.

“Even tea didn’t taste the same”, he said with a small smile.

After having a scene go round my head for days I finally decided to write it down earlier this week and within a few hours I wrote 3005 words. They’re mostly unstructured, the grammar is awful and a lot of loose ends, but it is a first draft.

It’s the first time at least this year that I have written anything fictional and the scene is very much chick-lit which is unlike everything I have ever written before. I also don’t know whether it is something in the middle of a story or a standalone part or maybe even the beginning or end and thinking about branching it out almost terrifies me as I don’t want to ruin the characters or the story, even though I don’t actually know either!

Wanting to carry on with that momentum I tried to write more on Monday, Tuesday and tonight, but have been failing and only got another 30 words down. Maybe I need to actually set time aside, but with work and other commitments it is difficult to switch off enough to focus on it which might explain why I wrote the scene at the end of my one week off work.

I kind of want to know what is happening to them next.

Work have recently introduced a new swipe card time system and, seeing I always seemed to forget where my card was, I decided to crochet one.

Starting with the string I crochet two rows lengthways before crocheting a holder around the card, crocheting the sides together and attaching the string. The downside is that the card is now crochet into the holder and I’m hoping it won’t break as I will have to undo one side to get it out again!

It is the first time that I’ve been doing any knitting or crocheting since working on the doodleblanket in March. I blame work entirely for my lack of time. That and the fact it was summer and far too hot to be working on a blanket that is too big and heavy to not be covering my legs whilst working on it, of course.

Additionally there is the De Quervain syndrome I had last year. Ever since then my thumb has been playing up – on some days I can barely move it when I’ve been typing on an unresponsive keyboard – and I am terrified of returning to that stage where I can’t do anything with it so my instincts tell me to reject all knitting or crocheting in the meantime with ‘the meantime’ seemingly being an unending time frame.

I have spent too much time of my life in airports either waiting for someone or waiting for flights or to get home after arrival. I don’t even want to begin to count how much time of my life has been wasted in airports and I’m nowhere near as frequent a traveller as some other people I know. Off the top of my head:

• 18 hours at Gatwick North in 2007. Misjudged moving out and travel cross London to get to airport and so on. Sigh..
• 28 hours in Malaga airport in 2007 thanks to Easyjet which led to me documenting this via pictures. Lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of pictures.
• This was followed by spending 24 hours at Gatwick North terminal [where I am now, too!] as I had to make alternative arrangements which then involved dashing cross London to Heathrow.
• 16 hours at Heathrow then going to Reading to then go on the coach to Germany for the first time. First time on a National Express coach that is, not Germany obviously. Those few days weren’t fun!
• Spent too much time waiting for a friend in Hamburg airport in 2008.
• Six hours in Gatwick South terminal on Sunday.
• 5.5 hours in Gatwick North terminal now.

There are more times and I do remember more time spent at Heathrow, but can’t think of anything off the top of my head.

Each experience has been unique and each airport has its up and downsides for waiting, but I don’t think I could have imagined how different Gatwick could be.

Today I am at the North terminal for the first time since 2008 and it exactly how I remember it. There is a 24 hour Costa coffee, semi comfortable and many benches for people to sit [mostly lie] on. Some groups are playing cards – in fact I’m semi watching an intense poker game a couple of seats away – others are talking and there is a crazy guy in the corner oblivious to the fact he is singing along to the music he is listening to on headphones. An X-Factor contender he most definitely is not! Every hour or so the entire waiting area goes quiet as the heavily armed police make their patrol through, but asides from that it’s not a bad atmosphere.

Waiting at the South terminal on Sunday morning couldn’t have been more different. No seats were available and it felt disjointed and almost hostile. People were walking around constantly trying to find somewhere to sit, Caffe Nero’s music was loud enough to be heard when you couldn’t even see the cafe and a very large video screen banner ad near the M&S food shop kept changing the lighting in the whole area. All that was missing were the old style changing arrival/departure board sounds. And I didn’t once see any police patrols.

Malaga made me feel unsafe, Gatwick South baffled me, Heathrow is too busy even at night, but Gatwick North definitely gets my vote for best overnight stay in an airport.

Thank God it is only 2.5 hours more until my train!

I’ve decided to come home from Pisa two days early and spent far too much money on a flight for tomorrow night. There are several reasons for it [in no particular order]:

• I didn’t do any of the things I had planned to do.
• I hadn’t been looking forward to it. Whether that’s because I booked it quite far in advance or something else, I don’t know. I’ve been talking about it, yes, but that was a lot to convince myself, too.
• I’ve had bad headaches for the past month and, when going to the doctors, was either told that it’s something bad, but they can’t tell me what or that everything is fine. Neither has made them go away and I have now been told I can no longer take painkillers as otherwise I will get some fancy name syndrome which means I’ll get headaches from taking painkillers. Helpful.
• I’ve had a bad few weeks at work – there have been layoffs [not affecting me directly] and several projects I’ve been working on have been far more complicated than they should have been.
• I have issues with my housemates at the moment. Well, issues might be taking it a bit far, I’m not very happy where I am living at the moment which was rather sudden and I didn’t see it coming. Instead of doing something about it when I first realised it I just spent more time at work or working. For the past couple of months I have come home and pretty much felt miserable every evening with the house situation for reasons I can’t really mention in this blogpost as some of them do read it occasionally.
• I have been stretching myself too thin all summer. Between three charities and work I’ve neglected most other things though at the same time I have realised that I am primarily doing all those things to distract myself from how bad some other aspects of my life are. Back to the whole issue of not having balance in my life.
• Everything has a deadline these days – things I’ve got to get done, things I’ve got to do, things I’ve said are more advanced than they actually are. See previous point.
• Family pressure. I’ve had two years with no contact with my family which, as many know, was fantastic. Once I made contact again, as my grandma was ill, I have been sucked right back in and am back at the whole thing of feeling responsible at everything. Whilst my relationship with my grandma has been better than it’s ever been and I’ve seen her twice in the past year, she has started again with her usual spiel of ‘you’re the only one I have left, there’s no other family‘ and ‘I can’t go back to the place I’ve spent my holidays at for the past hundred years… unless you would come with me next year….’. So I guess I’ll be going there next year. Fantastic. Saying no isn’t something I’ve ever been able to do.
• Several issues with friends this year from drifting away to a full on argument. Most are my fault for letting it happen, others I feel were both sides, but the damage has been done and, despite assurances that everything’s the same, it isn’t the same.
• Those stupid headaches just won’t go away.

I knew last week that the holiday was probably a bad idea and, when I started feeling really ill from Thursday onwards [I think #washingupgate2012 probably was the last thing to put me over the edge as silly as it sounds] I was sure that going on holidays would be a bad idea. In fact I’d pretty much set my mind on not going and only revised this on Saturday when several friends convinced me to and it seemed better than staying at home.

After the worst flight I’ve ever had on Sunday morning [Easyjet] I have pretty much spent most of the time in my hotel room feeling ill or with a headache so bad I couldn’t take it any more. Of course taking painkillers didn’t improve matters so I guess the doctor is on to something here. The noise and pressure on the flight was so bad it made me cry pretty much the entire time through and the snobby and chatty expat next to me didn’t help matters, neither did the aggressive salesspiel from the airline crew.

Instead of Friday night I’ll be coming home tomorrow night. One of the deciding factors, asides from me really wanting to be home, was that it’s a British Airways flight. And that I’ll be home. Ready to actually approach the things that have left me miserable and ready to actually improve things rather than booking a holiday to escape.

Of course I still have to go and see my grandma later on in the year as ‘she would love to see me before Christmas’. Brilliant.

Additionally I probably shouldn’t post this blogpost as a number of real life friends, work colleagues current and former, housemates and so on might read it and think I’m even more of a nutcase than I actually am. But I don’t tend to talk about problems with people as I normally don’t want to burden them or don’t feel it’s ever the right time. I love my job, I love certain other aspects of my life, but I’m just not doing very well at the moment. I’m working on it, but right now it’s been a couple of months of me not doing very well. Onwards and upwards.

During my second year of primary school – I would have been around seven or eight years old – my mum decided she could no longer stand having to nag me every single morning to get out of bed and ready for school. Whilst I wouldn’t consider myself a morning person now, I most definitely wasn’t then or rather I didn’t want the day to start and much rather wanted to stay in bed or play forever. Quite clearly I was set to drive my mum insane!

For a few days, maybe weeks, she threatened me. “If you don’t start getting up on time I will stop making sure you are”, she would say. “If you don’t stop playing now and get dressed you’ll be late”, she would say on other days. I would retort telling her I didn’t want to and that she would let me play or stay in bed if she loved me to which she only ever had one reply:

It is *because* I love you that I don’t let you do whatever you want. You won’t understand this now and I don’t expect you to, but you will and you will thank me for it.

Of course I didn’t understand and being told I wasn’t even expected to understand it probably infuriated me more.

Despite all the hassle I always did make it to school just on time though my timekeeping 22 years ago is about as good as it is now.

One day she had had enough and with no warning whatsoever – as child Cat would say – she spent an afternoon preparing me for the next day. She asked me to tell her what I needed to do in the morning, which involved getting up, washed and dressed, and we did a trial run before telling me that as of the next morning I wouldn’t have her on my case. It took the rest of the day for the message to sink in.

Just for that message to obviously be forgotten the next morning.. The alarm we had set the night before rang and I turned it off. My mum woke my up a few minutes later telling me that she wouldn’t remind me again and that I would have to get ready myself which I didn’t until very late and I ended up being late at school which my mum excused to the teacher. The rest of the day she spent again telling me that it was now my responsibility, nothing to do with her any more and, most importantly, that it would also now be me who would have to confess to the teacher why I was late.

The next morning I got ready mostly on my own though so slowly I was late again. Getting to the school my mum came to the classroom with me and, when the teacher asked her about the delay, my mum just looked at me and said “well, Cat, why are you late?” which embarrassed me to no end. It was to be the last day of my primary school education where I was late, because of not wanting to get ready and was just another step by my mum to raise me to be as self-sufficient as possible.

And I did understand.

A conversation with colleagues the other day about Google Streetview then led to 9-Eyes.com and I remembered that time I saw a Google Streetview car go by.

It was some time in August 2008 in Uxbridge outside the house I lived at the time and I was just waiting for a taxi to work. It’s blurred out, but it was most definitely not my ‘happy face’ as it was about 8am in the morning and I had only come home from work at around midnight.

You now know someone that is forever immortalised on Google Streetview.

You’re welcome.

Quite some time ago a friend of mine mentioned writing a comic series and produced a prelude edition for it of which I have a signed copy.

Some time later he has a Kickstarter project for it! It’s got the honour of being the first Kickstarter project I’ve backed.

I’m immensely proud of @peterbcooper and recommend you stop by in the next 45 hours.

Hey ,

My guess is that we’re out of touch for one of four reasons:

1) I have done something to offend you.

2) You hired someone else and just don’t want to hurt my feelings by telling me.

3) Your SEO concerns resolved themselves.

4) You want desperately to hire us, but are trapped under something heavy, and cannot reach the phone.

I’d consider it a personal favor if you’d let me know if the problem is one of these, or something I didn’t think of. If it’s #4, reply to this e-mail and I’ll send help!

Buffy’s ‘The Body‘ aired in 2001; about 21 months after my mum died after battling cancer for over three years.

The scene in which Buffy tells Dawn about it at the school mirrors the way my stepdad told me in far too many ways. That morning I had some drama at the school with nothing in particular and was actually considering skipping the rest of the school day. I was in class when my stepdad knocked on the door, stuck his head through and I went outside to spend the next few minutes crying in his arms. Of course what isn’t shown in the Buffy episode is how I then had to go back in, looking like I’d cried, tell my teacher what had happened before collecting my bag and leaving.

The scene in which everyone is waiting in the morgue combined with the boredom and not knowing what to do resembles the time it took my stepdad and me to get via public transport to another town where my mother had been moved to the day before.

The scene in which it is so quiet just after Buffy finds her mum reminds me so much of the moment my stepdad and I went to see the body in the hospital. Left alone in the room with her she looked so peaceful and just like she was sleeping. Not knowing what to do or what is appropriate I held her hand for a while and touched her arm which was so cold it is sending chills down my back nowadays.

The scene in which Willow is trying to find the right clothes before going over the Buffy’s house reminds me of the day of the funeral when I couldn’t figure out what to wear as everything seemed inappropriate. Opting for a black suitjacket and going to school beforehand made me feel hilariously overdressed.

Having to have everything sorted out and not recognising that my friends and other people would be grieving not only for my mum, but also for me is something that I only recognised as a result of watching this episode several times. And I have seen it many times now. And still cry several times at the above scenes.

Went to see the Olympic torch through Reading this week as a colleague was taking part in it and because it is a chance in a lifetime.

I think it was probably my parents trying to shield me disappointment early on in life, but I was brought up for the most part with the mantra that winning isn’t everything, it’s the taking part and being there that matters. This wasn’t just in reference to the Olympics, but with everything in life, for example when I was put forward for a regional [national?] reading competition by my teacher and had to read out text aloud in front of strangers which was terrifying and I didn’t do very well. I am glad I did it and took part as I had the experience from it despite not winning.

As an aside, what the hell is the point in having a competition where children or teenagers have to compete against each other by reading aloud pages of set text?! I never really understood it, but at least it got me out of school for a few lessons which was fantastic.

Back to the torch, I loved it, even though I didn’t feel like going. The day seems to have dragged on and I was tired, but of course I am thankful I went. It was lovely seeing so many people in Reading come together for the event and cheering all the runners on. And, later on in the week, I actually got to hold the torch, too! Wooohoo!

About a month ago – totally out of the blue – I bought a new bag.

I didn’t plan for it, I didn’t have time and, within a minute of spotting it, I was walking away from the till with it. It’s one of the more expensive bags I have bought, too, and I am still in love.

Since then I have used it daily and I’ve never received as many compliments for any bag I had previously owned and I am most definitely a bag person. After all, who cares about shoes anyway.. In fact, I have probably received more compliments than all the previous ones put together. And most were from men which is even more worrying!

There isn’t really anything to it, I am surprised and, obviously, feel approved.

I probably shouldn’t be allowed in shops or anywhere on the internet near payday though!

Matlock features quite heavily in those memories along with remembering my mum sitting on the sofa with the latest thing she was knitting, even though I don’t always really remember what she was knitting. I’m not sure what she was knitting all that time, there always seemed to be a project on the go, but I only ever had maybe four jumpers and there weren’t any socks or scarves she knitted me. I used to love the jumpers and their smell when she had just finished them, as they always smell of her.

I hadn’t thought of any of this for years until I read earlier that Andy Griffith, the star in Matlock, died today.

RIP Andy Griffith.

Located in the Tuscany region of Italy it is close to the sea, close to Florence and just generally set in a beautiful area. I have just booked my trip!

I am going to Pisa from September 2nd until September 7th and will be staying in a hotel that looks directly at the leaning tower. Whilst there I am planning several daytrips, including:

• Florence
• Lucca
• Viareggio
• Parco Regionale Migliarino

I can’t believe I’m going to Pisa!

For a start, in Germany, unlike in England, France or most other European countries, it is still considered equivocal and dubious to show any national pride, let alone hang a flag out your window, because it is immediately construed as right-wing.

May I also say that in school, Hitler and the Holocaust were studied basically every year at some point in our history classes, German lit lessons, et al. (not even the never ending “don’t do drugs” lesson plans were able to top that).

May I also remark that I lived, worked and studied in England for four years, and the amount of hostility some Brits still demonstrate towards Germans is quite frankly astounding, not only in person but also on TV (I remember an episode from “Who do you think you are” in which the guy, whoever he was, talked about is relentless hate towards “the Germans” before finding out that his ancestors were German. Granted, it’s TV, but the way the episode was conducted speaks volumes). Yet many of them know hardly anything about the Hitler era when asked.

And while doing the goosestep while drunk in a pub seems to be funny to you, over here you’d probably get arrested. And before you ask, yes I do enjoy Fawlty Towers’s “The Germans”.

Bought a kite this week totally on a whim. Well, not so much a whim; it was more that I’ve actually waited about a year before buying one.

I spent most of today obsessively checking the online parcel tracking until it was delivered and immediately built it together when I got home.

Flying itself, well, I think it’s safe to say I need more practice. The longest I managed to keep the kite in the air was about ten seconds and many one or two second attempts in the hour I tried it. I am blaming the location entirely – it was the local park and there were trees and it is lined by houses. Might investigate some other places this weekend.

Here’s to more wind.

I wish I had done that, even if it had just been something to look back onto.

The last couple of weeks have been tough – I’ve been working too much and my routine has turned into something I dislike with staying up far too late night after night and generally not being settled enough to sleep. All of that has led me to be less tolerant of the quirks of other people and I have become very irritable. Ultimately getting a nice message from a friend actually made me realise that I am currently not the person I want to be.

At the same time I am happy about the distraction work gives me from having to sort it all out.

A couple of weeks ago I ordered some mesh back support for my work chair from Amazon. I bought it for £3.30 with free delivery though it’s now reduced to £3.12 – bargain. I figured that even if it didn’t work, I wouldn’t have spent much money on it.

It finally arrived last Monday and I have been using it on my office chair since. To say that it has changed my life would be taking it a bit far, but it’s certainly helped reduce my backpain and it’s almost completely gone. The first day I was using it was a long day at the office, but even 11 hours didn’t cause me any backpain. Now, several days down the line, I can notice that my posture has improved not only when sitting in the chair, but also when I’m sitting on the floor with a pillow in my back, like now.

What a fantastic purchase.

As part of @satscenes self portrait week I took the above picture yesterday.

I originally bought the wig to wear it at the three Race for Life events I am volunteering at this year, but last weekend’s Windsor Race for Life event was far too windy for it.

It’s quite pink and I like how it looks, even though it’s incredibly uncomfortable to wear!

I took the above picture on Saturday after realising I’d have to wait twenty minutes for the next train and figured I’d so some sightseeing with the least amount of effort as I was incredibly tired from the Race for Life.

It was a much more impressive ferris wheel than the one I went up on in Sheffield a couple of years ago. I can’t believe that trip to Sheffield was that long ago – so much has changed since then!

This is my third year volunteering for Race for Life and this year I’m volunteering at three events: Windsor, Oxford and Reading. Originally I had planned for it to just be Reading again, but, after finding out that the events manager from the past two years wouldn’t be doing it this year, I decided to also sign up for Oxford. Windsor came about a bit out of the blue when I received an email asking for volunteers due to a shortage and I signed up for it.

On Saturday I once again remained in the admin tent answering queries from participants though also ended up selling tickets for some activities in the afternoon, whereas on Sunday I spent most of my time as a volunteer coordinator followed by breaking down all the equipment. I’m definitely getting better at grouping plastic stakes in groups of ten and tying cable-ties around them! As always, it has been a fantastic weekend with lots of work and lovely people and I’ve enjoyed doing something else this weekend, even though I was sure I loved being the admin assistant.

Several people this weekend asked me why I chose a particular role as a volunteer and it took me until now to realise why I prefer some over others. With the admin tent or even selling tickets there is a lot of interaction with the general participants and a great chance to feel the buzz at the event. It’s emotional hearing some of the stories or hearing the reasons they are taking part in the event. Or talking to the left-behind husbands or boyfriends who are amazed at their other half’s efforts.

Working as a volunteer manager doesn’t allow me that much interaction with participants and is much more focussed on the behind-the-scenes. Are there enough marshals? Why isn’t the radio of the first aid guy working? Has everyone arrived and been briefed? It does, however, give fantastic insights on how the event works and is definitely something I’d love to do again in the future.

Here are some of the pictures I took:

It pains me to think that I might be lactose intolerant.

Last night I had another round of backpain and nausea which is just like backpain I’ve had before. It was so bad it woke me up and kept me awake all night. Every time so far it’s been random – I couldn’t figure out why and felt too bad to sort it out. Last night I finally googled the symptoms, even though I am aware that googling medical symptoms pretty much always tells me that I am about to die. Throwing together the random symptoms I was experiencing I ended up immediately on lactose intolerance and then on the rarer symptoms which can be backpain.

I’d love to say this was just a one-off occasion, but I’ve recently subconsciously cut down on yoghurt, as well as noticed several times that eating yoghurt late in the evening or on an empty stomach causes a mild upset stomach. Last night I had far too much ice cream on an empty stomach so the symptoms were probably much worse than otherwise.

Currently I am too busy to properly look into it more and do the self testing some of the sites have recommended. I am imagining work to slow down towards the end of the month and will then experiment with self testing and trying to figure this out.

I hope it was just a flukey coincidence.

I have never managed to budget money. Once or twice I have attempted to set up a system, but always felt that I didn’t really know how to put it in place or make it fit me. Over the past month I have asked a handful of people on how they budget and it turns out that everyone has their own system. A friend was kind enough to share a sample of her budgeting spreadsheet for me and I have spent a couple of hours tonight trying to get it set up and adjusted to me.

This started off with the essentials – colour coding [priorities!], formatting and formulas, as well as deciding what columns I should have in the outgoings section. That was actually easier than I thought as I just had to look through my online banking for the month. I have settled on the following categories:

• Rent – Self-explanatory.
• Council Tax – Self-explanatory.
• Bills – Self-explanatory.
• Travel – Includes weekly bus passes and train travel.
• Abel & Cole – - Self-explanatory.
• Food – Additional food, like bread.
• Takeaway – Of which I have too much.
• Cigarettes – Self-explanatory.
• Phone – My phone is PAYG, but I top up £10/month to receive unlimited texts plus £20 every six months for unlimited data.
• Toiletries & Cleaning – Self-explanatory.
• Going out – Covering all going out from coffee to restaurants and pubs.
• Clothing – Self-explanatory.
• Presents & Donations – Self-explanatory.
• Spotify & Xbox Live – Includes the £9.99/month for Spotify Premium and MS Points purchased on Xbox Live.
• Amazon – Most of my online orders are through Amazon.

I think the main reason I hadn’t managed to budget before was that I wasn’t sure on how to track things properly and whether I should document what I spend or only spend what I am allowed to. For the time being I am planning to track what I do spend without forcing myself to adjust though I am already shocked that I can’t account for some money just eleven days into the month.

Realising that it was a contributing factor of me getting this job I asked a friend who recently recruited for a number of roles at the company she works for and she told me that out of 70 applicants 51 didn’t include a cover letter and five only copied bits from their CV.

I use every chance I can to sell myself, particularly with something like a job application where everything stands for itself, so it boggles my mind that others don’t do the same.